A Dog Called Sex

Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I call mine Sex. He’s a great pal, but he caused me a great deal of embarrassment.

When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a licence for Sex.

He said, "I d like one, too!"

Then I said, "But this is a dog."

He said he didn’t care what she looked like.

Then I said, "You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was 9."

He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and a special room for Sex.

He said, "You don’t need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we don’t care what you do."

I said, "Look, you don’t seem to understand.

Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "Funny – I have the same problem."

One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planed to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets.

"But you don’t understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV."

He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it’s no big deal anymore."

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."

The judge said, "This courtroom isn’t a confessional. Stick to the case, please."

Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him.

A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?"

I told him that I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday…

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